Dear Santa Claus, 🎅
I have been a very good girl this year… I have devoted all of my time and energy to fighting Brexit.
I’m sure you already know that All I Want For Xmas is EU… 🇪🇺️🎄🇪🇺 And I would quite happily sacrifice all Christmas presents for the rest of my lifetime if I could keep my EU citizenship and stop Brexit from ruining the country that I love and call my home️. 🇬🇧️💔🇪🇺️ But I am also aware that the presence of the Brexit Grinch may make it difficult for you to deliver on that Christmas wish. So failing completely stopping Brexit for Christmas, could you please give me some items that may assist in my fight to Remain in the European Union? 🇪🇺️🎅🎄☃️🇪🇺️🎅🎄☃️🇪🇺️🎅🎄☃️
1) Gold trainers (mine self destructed en route to Brussels and are currently celotaped together)
2) A new purse/wallet (mine was stollen at Brussels Gare du Midi)
3) A new driver’s licence (inside the stolen purse)
4) A new EU Star t-shirt for Alba (the one she currently wears is too big and gets caught on her feet when she is running)… OR failing that:
5) A blue t-shirt and some yellow foam sheets to make a new t-shirt for AlbaWhiteWolf
6) A big juicy bone for Alba because she deserves one for being such an EU star! ⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐
7) Another 1x2m EU flag (Alba has been chewing mine) 🇪🇺
8️) A 1x2m Union Jack Flag (I feel it is important to emphasise we are fighting Brexit for the sake of the UK) 🇬🇧️
9) A new EU fancy dress outfit. Possible ideas:
i) EU Queen/Princess
iii) EU warrior/Queen Boudica???
iv) EU Ninja
v) I’m open to suggestions….
10) An i-Phone so I can facebook live stream/navigate on google maps/edit content on the go/etc. (trying to manage an iPad and a separate windows phone is proving to be continually awkward…)
11) Enough watercolour paper and paints to last me for the rest of this year
12) New paintbrushes (because mine are all ratty now)
13) EU Badges that don’t continually fall off my guitar case (because I think people are sick of picking them up for me when i’m travelling around on the tube/trains)
14) Free rail travel to protests for the rest of the year because train tickets are a complete rip off.
15) Somewhere to stay in London after protests because hotels are also a complete rip off.
16) A bath tub, because we don’t have one at home and it helps when i’m fucking stressed out.
17) A copy of Nick Clegg’s new book “How to Stop Brexit”
18) An EU umbrella to go with my Union Jack coat
19) Generally any pro-EU paraphernalia you have lying around your work shop would be appreciated.
20) A boyfriend with EU nationality that I can marry and gain EU citizenship if we fail to stop Brexit.
I think that is all.
N.B. If you can deliver on the Stop Brexit request, none of the above items will be necessary.
EU Supergirl A.K.A Madeleina Kay
P.S. If you experience any problems delivering presents to the UK due to border/customs controls etc. Please let me know and I will send Alba to go and bite them.